a new year, a new start

It's 2012. I honestly never imagined I would live this long. (No, I'm not being sarcastic. I really do get myself into alot of trouble.) So much has happened in the past year that I wish I could change, and that I'm thankful for. I fell out of love with a mistake, and I think I am falling into love again. With the right kind of person this time. :) More on that later! Promise ;)

Recently, we had a death in the family. My mom's side. The side I don't see or hear about very often. To say the least, it was interesting. But all of the drama that came from that day has opened new doors! I am finally starting to connect with my long-lost aunt!! We had a little bit of drama come up over a facebook status (ohh facebook drives me crazy sometimes), and after I messaged her and explained it, as well as the fact that I had no grudge against them and whatever tiff she had with my parents was with my parents and not myself...we actually came to an understanding! She told me about how when I was born, she was so excited about being an aunt and she went and told everyone at school. I cried. I won't lie. But they were happy tears. If I can start a relationship with her, then there's hope for my grandfather.

Needless to say that was the most exciting thing that happened to me today. Except that I'm sore as crap. I'm friggin intent on losing weight this year and getting back down to my amazing, wonderful 118. Yeah, you heard me. This will probably keep track of my progress too!

I can't believe that with this year, I'll be graduating highschool and entering college! It's such an exciting thing, but yet a scary thought. I'm terrified of growing up. As much as I look forward to it, it frightens me.

But, God provides in many ways. And He opens up doors as I have seen today! I am definitely leaving my relationship with my aunt up to Him. It really did warm my heart to hear/read that Grandfather never stopped loving my mother. It makes him out to not be the coldhearted bastard that I thought he was. And I'm glad. I want to have a relationship with him. I really do. He's my family. Crazy family maybe, but everyone is crazy.

And so on that note, I'm ending this first blog post of the new year.

xoxo,
beks.